I was in a phone store the other day waiting to get a new phone for my husband as his met an untimely death from a fall.

I also had to run across town, get lunch delivered to my sick-at-home son, go pick up Elizabeth, make time to call two doctors about my mom.  So as I was waiting for the phone man to fill out the form and transfer data etc…I mentally pictured the order I was going to tackle my list…kind of mentally picturing myself going from place to place and getting it all done.

Then slowly, I let go of the mental picture and refocused on the phone man talking to me about phone cases and did we want one?

I must say I liked my mental outline because it was nice to see what needed done, plan to do it and enjoy the feeling of being organized and with a plan intact.

It is kind of like that when we are raising a special needs child, no matter what age.  We can see the list of things to do, want desperately to make a plan and to make things work for our children.  And trust me, I know how tempting it is to grab the reigns and MAKE that plan.

I know that making the plan and thinking you are all set is tempting but not realistic. Something rigid and structured will not bend with the needs of each individual day or the changing needs of your child.

I just finished doing a webinar on dyspraxia, which is one of the disorders that my daughter Elizabeth has.  The other one being sensory processing disorder ( SPD).  On this webinar we talked about what we did to help Elizabeth when she was young and what we did along the way and finally what we do in current day. As I was explaining it all, I could mentally see how much my thinking changed as our journey grew.

I wanted it all figured out early on.

I wanted to fix any and all things.

I wanted to make sure we knew exactly where and what she was going to do two years out.

But then I learned……

To adjust.

To plan but not too far out.

To trust my instincts.

To be strong when needed.

I learned that by no having a PLAN, I was actually better able to plan for Elizabeth.

Having no PLAN allowed me to adjust better, advocate better and make each day and experience better suited to her current needs.

So maybe look those few steps ahead but stay in the moment, just some thoughts that I too try to follow each day.

I wish everyone a peaceful week.

Michele Gianetti author of:

I Believe In You: A Mother and Daughter’s Special Journey

Emily’s Sister

Elizabeth Believes in Herself: The Special Journey Continues