So the conversation started out with my husband and I thinking of something fun we wanted to do with Michael and Elizabeth.
We thought it was a great idea.
One that would be relaxing and fun.
And since the weather was supposed to be nice on that weekend, we were sure it would be great.
So we planned it in our heads.
Then we told Elizabeth and Michael.
And they said….and I quote ” Dude, really? Nah, I’m good. Let’s do something else;” and ” How long do we have to stay?”
These were from Michael and Elizabeth respectively.
So John and I were a bit surprised by this reaction, especially since WE were absolutely sure it was a perfect idea.
For a bit of closure for the readers here, we did end up going to the place we wanted to go but with adjustments such as doing the other thing Michael wanted to do and to show Elizabeth about how long we were planning.
With this fun story comes some thoughts on this.
With summer comes so many opportunities to do things, take vacations, hang out at pools, do library programs etc. ( I had to put in something educational)
And they can all SEEM just great. At least, probably to one person. But what about the other people in the family.
I mean what sounded great to us, was so very not loved by my beautiful children.
It would have been better if we had talked to them about it first, before we kind of penciled it in on the schedule. I know this makes so much sense, since personalities in all families differ.
And this is even more so when you have special needs in your family. Because with special needs, sometimes certain things just aren’t possible, while other things are simply required such as therapies/scheduled rest times/doctor’s appointments etc.
So, talking with the siblings is such an important thing to do.
–Give them the chance to tell you the things that they want to do– I like hearing from Michael his ideas. I have learned alot this way.
-Give them the chance to tell you what they would like to NOT be part of– I think this helps them feel like they have a choice
-Let them help you plan the next outing– Again, you might be pleasantly surprised to hear what they have in mind.
-Let them talk about feelings– They have a lot of them, just like we do and they need to be able to talk about them.
I know that with our beautiful Elizabeth, my daughter with special needs, we did some of these with Emily but I know we have done more with Michae, because we have learned more as time has passed.
And that is okay, we are all learning and growing and let’s face it….we are all a work in progress.
I share this all because maybe someone will read this and it will be just what they needed.
I wish everyone a peaceful week.
Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes in Herself.