Last year everyone saw their holidays changed by the pandemic.

Maybe yours was a quiet one, like ours or maybe it was more of they typical one of pre pandemic years.

Whatever the case, it was probably more different than typical. Now enter into this holiday season. Holiday season number 2 in a pandemic.

What does that mean to you and your special needs child? By that I mean how have you been going about explaining it to your child with special needs? I ask this because I just had this conversation with Elizabeth. It all began because after many phone calls to our various family members, many with serious health issues, who said they would all love to be together but feel just a bit not quite ready.

So our Thanksgiving will be a quiet one. Not the one with 21 people.

So Elizabeth wanted to know what we were doing.

E: So are we having a big party for Thanksgiving?

M: No, not this year because of the…

E: (interrupted me) virus…right?

M: Yes, I mean we could have had a party, but it is just better for everyone if we keep it quiet and just us. And we will make is really wonderful, like we did last year.

E: So there won’t be alot of people?

M: No, just us but Easter will be the party, I hope

E: So I don’t have to worry about it being loud or crowded?

M: No, it will be quiet.

E: That sounds good, just us.

And there it is, the relief Elizabeth feels when she won’t maybe have to work hard to be okay in situations that she finds challenging. I am happy my kids are good with everything being just us, so grateful actually but like anything else with Elizabeth unless she does it often or at least frequently, things can be rusty or challenging for her. And I am afraid, this holds true to how she will react/feel/cope with a large gathering.

I think judging from her words above that it will be challenging and something we will have to talk through a few ( think, many) times before we get to the date of the aforementioned get together.

This brings me to another point and that is how best to help our children understand the changes this holiday season may bring. If you are having family over, what do you want your child to know will happen. how can you help them cope with the sensory input they will have during that time?

If you are headed somewhere else have you communicated with your child in the way they best understand, what they can expect? What things to bring to help them cope? What food to bring in case green bean casserole makes your child cry (actually had it happen to someone in our family) Maybe they will have to wear a mask a bit with certain family?

Anyway, the whole take away of this is that last year was a bit more cut and dry and this year not so much. So as much as we are figuring it out our special needs children are as well and like most things in their lives, it can be harder for them.

Just some thoughts as there is still time to handle the communication with your child to make the Thanksgiving 2021 as calm, enjoyable and memory making as possible.

I wish everyone a peaceful week. Please wear a mask and if you haven’t, get vaccinated.

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes in Herself.

I was talking to someone last week about the Olympics.

As I had just heard that we are under 100 days away from the winter games (thank you to my daily news watching habit)

My friend and I were talking about the times it takes the athletes to do this or that and how the quest is always there to be faster and faster. Even if it is only by 0.000000000001 second.

I remember saying that won’t there ultimately be a time when we reach the absolute fastest we can go? I mean that won’t there be a time that is the least amount it takes to run a 50 yard dash. After all, it will always take a few seconds to do as it is 50 yards so won’t that sort of limit the lowest we can go?

This quest for faster and quicker made me think about how this holds true in life too!

We have a need for faster phones……

Faster internet……

Faster computers…..

But with all the faster things we have, do we all really have any time to show for it? Or do we have the time but ear mark it for other things so it seems we don’t have that extra time?

I know I seem to be in a hurry some mornings no matter what I do.

It is like we are chasing the chance to slow down.

Now enter Elizabeth.

She is my daughter with special needs. She has global dyspraxia and sensory processing disorder (SPD). Both of these disorders make life hard work for her. She has had to have all skills broken down and taught step by step, again and again.

Every skill.

Every task.

Every last one.

And as hard and winding as the journey with Elizabeth has been it has been equally amazing and wonderful. And the gifts of Elizabeth as we like to call them, are so many, so varied and so wonderful. Our children with special needs bring so many gifts to our lives.

One of the gifts of Elizabeth is that she has the ability to step over the rush of life and the chasing of time.

Not that she can’t be made to hurry if need be or that she can’t rush is we really have to ( She is usually not a fan of these things)She really has one speed and her sister, Emily, was the one to point that out.

The gift of Elizabeth related to time is that she helps us all S-L-O-W down and enjoy the moment. We could be rushing around, literally passing ourselves in the hallway and she will be looking out our front window at the sunset and tell us how pretty it is and why don’t we come over to see it.

It makes us take a pause and enjoy the pretty thing God created.

I love that she is who she is and it helps us rejoice in the gift of Elizabeth when she shows this “Stop the world” moment.

Our special needs children are so unique and so special in their gifts, so I thought at time when we are all getting ready for the holiday season to start…like runners at the starting line….maybe hearing about Elizabeth’s gifts will make stopping the busy a bit more possible.

And also remind us to enjoy the gifts our special needs children bring to us each and every day.

I wish everyone a peaceful week. Please wear a mask and get vaccinated!

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes in Herself