So I have noticed that at times the bandwidth in my brain allows me to input information in about 5-10 second amounts. Other times, I can absorb lots of info.

So sometimes reading a book for a while is relaxing and I can get enthralled in the story and other times, like now I seem to like short little videos that can be found on a pretty famous social media site.

I think these changes in my bandwidth have to do with the amount of other things that pull on this reserve. Stress, schedules, COVID, etc…. and I guess I am a bit overloaded these past 2 weeks and well? Here I am watching short videos

In any event, last week I was watching a short video that talked about the best way to update a room in your home. It was a living room and it involved colorful pillows. Pops of color!

I said to myself: Self, lets go do that, our den needs a sprucing up

So my best friend came with me and we picked fun colors and redid the room. I decided some throws would be a great addition. So the next day, I got 2 and placed them on one side on each of our two couches.

DONE!

WOOHOO! Everyone loved it.

The next day, I wake up to see the one throw has been taken from the side of the couch and sort of puddled on top of the back of the cushion. So instead of being a throw it became a pile.

Hmmm? Who is the doer of such a deed?

So I fixed it.

Got up the next morning and the throw was a pile again.

ELIZABETH did this!

I had forgotten that she did this the last time we tried to place a throw here and it got so bad that I just took the throw away instead of fixing it EVERYDAY. That was pre COVID time and well, things were so different, so I guess I didn’t care but now, we spend a great deal of time home and to be honest, I want those throws to stay this time!

So I had a nice little-long talk with my beautiful Elizabeth and we went over why these throws are not her worry. That she can leave them, they make the room look pretty etc.

So, why did I need to do this?

Because habits for those with dyspraxia are formed FAST! Like RIGHT AWAY! and for those who don’t already know, my daughter Elizabeth, who is 24 years old, has global dyspraxia and sensory processing disorder (SPD)

And on this journey with her for these years, I have learned so much about dyspraxia and one of the big things is that it is so important for any and all information to get in correctly the first time. That when Elizabeth was learning to write her letters, any way she initially learned them was the way they were done for a long time. And that breaking or changing habits is SO very difficult and So very time consuming.

For example, when she makes the letter “K” and it looked like a line and a “less than sign” next to it instead of a “K” it took us weeks to get the motor planning in order to get it to look the the letter it was supposed to be.

And that is just one small example of this quick habit forming.

So, with these pillows, I was determined to not let this, let’s call it a “tendency” to move the throw turn into a habit.

And I think we have succeeded. I am happy to say!

So maybe just know that this habit forming is something to know can and does happen quickly and that if you want or need something adjusted, like me, try to get the info in correctly the initial time or act quickly to adjust things if you notice them.

And so, the answer to the question asked in the title, is now officially ” No, she does not!”

I wish everyone a peaceful week.

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes In Herself

As sure as the first flowers are arriving, so does IEP time.

It almost sounds celebratory….but for those who have a special needs child, we know it is not like that.
I know we don’t have an IEP meeting scheduled for Elizabeth but I so remember the feelings and the preparations for them.

We had our fair share of IEP meetings and preparations. Elizabeth actually had a few extra ones as she participated in our state’s offerings of Option 23 which allowed her to stay in the auspices of the school system until the age of 22 years old. So good for us, we got to do this even MORE times than usual!

So, with these years of IEP prep times, meetings, re-evaluations and IEP adjustments, I wanted to tell you how I approached these tough and emotional meetings:

-If Elizabeth was given a standardized test right now, I know her scores would not be what we want to see. But, if we were talking with her and helping her organize her thoughts about things like budgets and safety scenarios, she would answer really well.

So my take away, is to focus on how well she can do when her needed supports are in place. Because that is what she truly needs and how she does best.

So when an IEP time comes, I take a good, truthful look at things like this and gain strength from recognizing her growth.

-IF she did not fully reach a goal and it reappears on the IEP, instead of feeling defeated ( as I would have many years ago)

I tell myself to look at the gains made toward the goal itself. Meaning did she do more steps toward independence? How many steps did she meet?

I try to see the gains made not what is left until the goals are completely met. This way I try to see what she has accomplished instead of what she did not.

And I have learned over the years just how important it is to do this and keep shooting for future successes.

-IF I have any real concerns then I do not hesitate to bring them up or if I have any goals that I know are more in line with Elizabeth’s wishes then again, I do not hesitate to address them.

Often, goals and experiences can be geared on a default setting kind of mind set, meaning, that they are not as tailored to someone’s wishes as much as, I feel, they could be.

-LASTLY and do not do this often, I allow myself to think back to where we started and then think of where she is right now. I do this to keep perspective, to see how far she has come and to know she will continue to succeed. Will it be at the pace of a child who does not have special needs? Probably not. But will she continue to succeed? I truly believe ….ABSOLUTELY!!!

Trust me, I know how hard the experiences are. But preparing a good mindset before and allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel after the meeting is really important to successfully getting through another IEP season.

And just like the early Spring flowers that are here then fade away, the IEP season does the same thing.
Good luck to all!

I wish everyone a peaceful month and the strength and courage you need as you enter your IEP meetings!

Michele Gianetti author of I Believe In You