With the impending school year, I can almost feel the anxiety we would have as Elizabeth got ready for a new school year, another teacher and hopefully another year to be “understood”

Each year in the Fall, I would write a letter to the school telling them everything that she had done, learned or struggled with in the summer. I told them all about the things she liked, didn’t like and anything new that I thought would help everyone see the complete picture of who Elizabeth was.

NOT who she is related to the label of her disorders.

But who she IS!

The sum of all the parts. The sum of all the things that make her, well, Elizabeth!

In addition to this anxiety, was the strong feeling I had of a big marker of time happening. I mean you cannot deny the passing/marking of time when you are faced with a new school year that has the numerical year after it. Such as when the school send letters home welcoming you “to the new school year for 2022-2023”

Yes, it certainly marks time. And for me, it was just this marker that got my head thinking about all the things that maybe we still needed to work on, or maybe the things I wished she could do that others her age did without any issue. Or what should our new goals be for the year to address all these things.

I guess for me the ending of summer and the beginning of a new year was quite the emotional journey. I know that with Elizabeth’s disorders it was so critical to have the year start off the best it could, to keep her anxiety down and all for others to be able to work well with her. Her disorder of SPD ( Sensory Processing Disorder) and Global Dyspraxia are tricky and can sometimes be big players in her day and other time not so much. So it absolutely a necessity for those with her and working with her understand her well.

Flash to 2022, and Elizabeth is 25 years old. Way past the time that this time of year should elicit the same feelings as when she was younger. And in many ways that is indeed true. But in other ways you would be surprised that they are still there.

I think it is because we as parents of these beautiful young people become conditioned quickly to do things a certain way for them, to be their advocate. This role is one that changes and adjusts over time but the role sticks with us, I think forever.

I can say that it is for me.

I mean I was driving with Elizabeth today to get coffee and we were talking.

About what, you may ask?

What her goals are for this next year! What she wants to work on, what she wants to keep in her day and what she wants to let go of.

We talked about her jobs and if she wants to work more (if that is possible) or the same.

And how she can keep being more independent.

Yes! You hear it too, don’t you? We are pretty much doing the same thing we did when she was younger only now she is older, in on the decisions and plans and we can control more variables but STILL, it is pretty much in the same planning family.

I liked hearing what she had to say, and I like making these plans because they are HERS not just what we, her parents, think is best.

So, for those who may have a lot of feelings at the start of the year, remember we all need supports. And we all need to adjust and reassess things.

Our beautiful children with special needs are no different. And we are all a work in progress in this thing called life.

I wish everyone a peaceful week,

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes In Herself

Summer is almost over!

And that my friends is so hard to believe.

An event in our town, that signifies the end of summer, just happened this past weekend.

It is the Championship swim meet. Held every year at alternating local swim clubs.

It was just this past weekend. And as a former competitive swimmer, I love to go when it is held at our local club.

As I thought about the big meet this weekend, I started thinking about the meet a few years ago when all of us learned a big lesson about the number 18.

I rode to the swim meet with Michael, on our bikes. (parking is a big mess at these events) and we watched the meet and rode home.

To find Elizabeth’s swing broken in the back yard and Elizabeth sitting in a contorted position on the couch. And unable to walk without crying.

Her swing broke

She fell hard

And she couldn’t walk.

So off we go to the emergency room.

Where we are greeted by the intake person who takes down Elizabeth’s basic info, name, address and date of birth. And that is where the trouble begins because you see it was determined that she was 18 years old.

An adult in the eyes of the state of Ohio, meaning SHE was the one who had to sign papers and agree to treatment. NOT US!

And they were serious that she had to sign the papers.

She did and with a bit of blessing, we knew the one nurse working there who helped smooth the way for us. But what if that nurse hadn’t been there.

What if things were different and Elizabeth could not handle the situation, didn’t sign, or …..?

This brought home to us the need for guardianship for her. Now we had already laid the initial first steps to those plans but thought she had to turn 18 BEFORE we sat with a lawyer to begin the official process.

Wrong we were.

This needed done so that it was in order WHEN she turned 18. This way she would be part of her own plan of care but with us legally able to help her. Legally able to ask questions on her behalf!

So I share this story because so many times we as parents of these beautiful people with special needs are unaware of just what that magic number of 18 can mean for our children and us.

And not always is this topic covered by the school and the transition program offered.

So I think as the new school year begins, know that maybe this is something that should be put on your radar for the new year. Maybe starting to look at or investigate what your options are for your young adult who is turning that magic age soon.

Don’ t wait as we did, make your plans early.

I am not saying guardianship is the right way for everyone, as there are other options out there. Only that the options should go on your to do list so that you stay “just that much ahead” of the game for your child.

It all did turn out well that day, I mean she got the needed X-rays and the needed treatment and thank God there was no break. And she was able to walk without pain 2 days later.

But as you can see, the event stuck with us.

And I hope reading this helps save someone else the experience.

I wish everyone a peaceful week.

Michele Gianetti author of I Believe In You