In a recent blog, I had just written about self care and the absolute need to incorporate this into you life.

So, following my own advice, I met up with a friend for coffee. Because remember: Self care doesn’t have to be big.

She and I both share the common ground of raising a young adult with special needs but for her it is a bit more in that she is raising 2 young adults with special needs.

As we were talking about everything and nothing. I told her that Elizabeth was back at work today after her month long hiatus from her Gymster’s work.

I told her that it happens each year and that while it is nice for Elizabeth to have a break. It is equally challenging for her open ended time and then the adjustment to starting back up again is a bit of work as well.

My friend told me that the thing she dreads is the “waiting for the other shoe to drop” meaning that for the time being both of her boys are doing well. Things are okay. But for how long?

We both know that okay now does not indeed mean okay for the long term. or even to the middle of the morning, really.

So as we talked about “the waiting for the shoe to drop”, I told her just how hard it is for me to send Elizabeth into the world…the Letting Go.

I mean it is the goal of all we do to have her live a full life to the best of her ability. To enjoy her work, friends and interests.

But as we send her into the world, we pray that she is safe. That if something happens she will know what to do and then DO IT! Dyspraxia can really make the doing really hard.

I told my friend that having her off and home is challenging for her because she loves to work and for me it is hard because she is sort of just waiting for work to start and then the going is hard for me because the world is not a kind place right now.

So I told my friend there is anxiety for me in both scenarios and that means I am always on guard.

Just like my friend who is waiting for the other shoe to drop….always on guard

It is this on guard feeling that I know we all probably feel but don’t maybe really talk about. I think unless you are on the special needs journey, there is no real way to know the depth of the feelings we carry each day, everyday, all day.

I know that we have equipped Elizabeth as best as we can for being in the world and being safe. So, my work is to trust.

But as she exits my car each day, my prayers go with her.

It is not easy, this journey with our special children. I share these feelings today because sometimes just knowing you are not alone in your feelings help. I can’t tell you or me the answers as we are all on this journey that continues each day but maybe this will help someone today.

Talking it through with my friend helped and I know as my friend shared her feelings she too felt better.

It is again, the self-care that helps us regroup.

I wish everyone a peaceful week.

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes in Herself.