Happy New Year to everyone! I think it is still okay to say this because this blog is starting out the year.

We had quite a nice holiday break. Christmas week Emily was home, sick, but home and that made it a nice week together as a run up to Christmas. She had to leave late Christmas day to fly back on the 26th. Which was TOUGH on everyone.

The next week, Elizabeth’s Dad was off so that made things still fun and holiday-ee

I will say that Elizabeth, for the FIRST time in recorded Elizabeth history, really had NO overload or emotional moments and she enjoyed whatever it was that we were doing.

It was really quite nice to see her simply enjoying time and family because, for us, that is really the most important things. Especially as we had Emily for such as shorter time.

Although I don’t know exactly what formula made all this flow so well.

I do know that she is maturing in her approach to things in life, is a BIT better at being truly flexible and we rediscovered the need for her and I to have our “Chat times” more often. So it was likely a combination of the above as well as the fact that, unlike other years when she had such open ended days, we worked hard on making sure her schedule was busy with things she wanted to do.

For Elizabeth and her disorders (global dyspraxia, sensory processing disorder SPD) open ended time is very anxiety producing. So while we all breath and enjoy the nothing or little things of the holidays, Elizabeth sees that as fun…for a bit, then she sees the void of nothing on her schedule and then she is becomes anxious and irritated and and and….

I wrote a previous blog about us being very proactive, when we know a schedule will be changing, to have other things to put into the schedule so that great big voids of time are avoided.

Happy to say that we remembered that and it did make a difference. Which makes this something that we both will be making sure is remembered and done next time a break or vacation is in the future.

So as we finished up the successful holiday break, Elizabeth and I were thinking about the next week. Which was the first week of January because in this week she was scheduled to have another training for her new job at a nursing home in the dietary area. For those who don’t know, Elizabeth loves working with the elderly and cooking and preparing food that this was a good fit. But there is ALOT to this, so she needs a job coach and more training times than others before she can start without a job coach and semi-be on her own.

Which just honors how she learns and who she is.

Now flash to the day at work this week. Her job coach told me that things were tough there at the nursing home. Low staff, increased tension and the worker who was supposed to step in after the job coach was done is now pulled to a different area for the next long while to fill the vacancy created by people quitting their jobs.

So where does that leave Elizabeth and her new job?

Not sure really. Except that she will not be continuing the job coaching as there is no purpose at this point because the natural segway to part 2 of the training won’t be there.

We are in the process of talking this through with the head of the dietary program who is lovely but who is stuck in this tough situation.

So now the schedule we had for the next while is now void. BOOM! It is like in a second it turns to dust.

And like the title says I am always amazed at how quickly this can happen and how the adjustments and clean up become what we have to do for our children with special needs.

So,Elizabeth and I will be talking through the reasons for the change, what we will do in lieu of this training and all the emotions she has about this change because she was loving the training.

Seeing the success of the holidays and how some of those changes and adjustments we made helped, makes me know that we will use those tools to help with this current situation.

We have never been at this exact spot before, so it is new territory.

Elizabeth has never been just exactly who she is now in this situation before, so that is new.

Sure, we may be 25 years into this journey with Elizabeth, but we are still a work in progress and that is just the simple truth.

For anyone who might need this today, I hope our story helps.

We all work hard for our children with special needs, and since that won’t stop, we need to know it is okay to still be figuring things out.

I wish everyone a peaceful week,

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes in Herself

THE START OF THE NEW YEAR!!

THE START OF THE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS! Does it have to be that way?

Never exercised before?  Now you resolve to go not 3 times a week!!! BUT everyday!!  Soon we will see the commercials and infomercials for treadmills, food delivery systems and step tracking apps!

Never let a green vegetable cross your lips?  Now you will each 5 servings EVERY day!!  Blend this green powder into your smooothie NOW!

Tough people in your life?  Now you can post these inspirational thoughts and read them EVERY day!  Now you will have a better mindset to handle these people!

But do you have to make these resolutions?  Really?

Do they really serve us well?

And how long do the typical resolutions last?  I read an article last year that said most resolutions are typically forgotten by the end of January….but still the need to fix and adjust our life on January 1st persists!!

I fall squarely in the camp of those who chose not to make resolutions.  I used to make these resolutions but then I became a mom of a beautiful daughter with special needs and that all changed.

I think it is because I have learned that changes occur so often during a year and that many simply cannot be planned.  Really we cannot control so many things and in the world of special needs, that holds true even more.

I think it is because even though I promise myself to be more patient in stressful times, the truth is I may drop that ball right away.

I think it is because I am so invested in her life and her special needs, that any changes and adjustments are done right when they are needed.  Because each day is different and that can even be each minute!

I think it is because this job of being mom to my globally dyspraxia, sensory processing disorder ( SPD ) child is so very challenging. To deny my emotions and try to 24/7 be positive, I would be denying the reality of my days.  Days that can run the gamete of emotions from fear to happy to sad to joy.

I think it is because, as you know, being a parent/caregiver to a child with special needs requires balancing the lives of their siblings, spouses/significant others, jobs, friends and quite simply LIFE, and that quite simply put….has no blueprint. 

We are doing the very best we can.

Daily.

Given the worlds we live in.

So I resolve to not resolve, but to simply do my best.

Think, adjust, readjust and do it all with the deep love I know we all feel for these beautiful children we have.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year to start 2023 and a peaceful week.

Michele Gianetti author of:  Elizabeth Believes in Herself