As we keep the pace going for the school year, some of you will be finishing up conference night and others will be planning for one soon.

I remember early on in my daughter, Elizabeth’s school journey that this night is considered the first real time to communicate with the school and all the people who are part of your child’s day at school. My daughter has special needs. She has dyspraxia and sensory processing disorder ( SPD) as well an an auditory processing disorder. Which means that her disorders will affect her days at school, every day.

1.FIND YOUR VOICE–

Don’t be afraid to speak honestly with your child’s educators. Don’t be afraid to ask for the supports that your child needs and to ask for a future date to meet to evaluate how these supports are going for your child. It can be nerve wracking to face teachers and have these honest conversations but it is necessary and critical for you to do so.

2.ADVOCATE WELL

Advocacy is not a skill that comes naturally to most of us. I know that I did not possess this skill at first, rather it grew as I found my voice and strength to help Elizabeth. So, don’t feel bad if you are not there yet, just be your best at this time in your life.

3. PREPARE- 

This means make a list of the things you want to know about and talk about. Copy one for the teacher to make notes on.  And bring your copy of the IEP!!!

On the list think about and make notes on any and all things you wish to talk about:

How is your child feeling when they go to school? Come home from school? upset?, mad?, happy? Write it down.

Bring any tests or papers that you want to go over. Maybe they were not adapted for your child? Maybe you want to ask about more help for your child.  Write it down!

Write it down!  Because having things written down is the best way to make sure everything you want covered gets covered and you don’t have to remember anything.

2. COMMUNICATE-

Take a deep breath and communicate your thoughts.  I know it is intimidating sometimes but if you remember that any and all things you do, you are doing FOR your child, you will find the courage and words.

3. READ THE IEP BEFORE

This is a big one.  Take the time to read the IEP because by doing this you will be able to assess the actual progress of your child versus the goals set by the school system.

You will be able to see where more work is needed or where the focus needs to be.

It is so worth your time to settle in with your IEP for a bit of cozy reading. And do not be afraid to write your notes on the IEP.

4. BRING SOMEONE

I used to think it did not matter if I was alone for some interactions with the school but I have learned and not in a good way, that bringing someone with you is so important.  Not only from the support standpoint, but from the standpoint of having another set of ears to hear and process what was said. So take that special person!

5. ENCOURAGE COMMUNICATION

I put this down again, because now might be a good time to ask about communication options for you and the school to keep each other “on the same page”  We have always used a communication notebook( at least after this first conference night debacle)  and this is a wonderful way to achieve the above. And a wonderful way to keep the communication current and honest.

Remember that the who goal of this night is to work for your child and to work as a team. So my above suggestions are to help grow both of these things which vital to the success of your child.

Good luck and I wish everyone a peaceful week.

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes In Herself

In Ohio, we are blessed with 4 seasons! All 4 seasons are experienced in their full glory

Fall is by far my favorite season, followed by Spring, then Summer and then lastly Winter. I love the colors of the Fall. The smell of the leaves and pumpkin spice everything and it is sweater weather!

When you live in Ohio, the leaves coat the ground pretty much everywhere. When they are nice and dry, they make a beautiful crunching sound as you walk around. When we walk on the bike trail it is just gorgeous!

I used to run a lot and there is one memory I have of running on one of these sunny Fall days and I was looking at the ground as I rounded a bend. I had some nice music on (I still remember the song that was on my headphones) and I notice this pile of really pretty leaves, I ran over them and felt the crunch of them. Elizabeth was about 5 years old at the time and I know this because my mom and dad were over to spend some time with my kids and I got to go for a run!

So back then when she was 5 years old, she was still struggling with talking, still had a lot of sensory issues and we were in some form of therapy about 3-4 times a week.

My walk through the leaves this year, for some reason, brought me back to those leaves from many years ago. The difference is that now Elizabeth is 26 years old!

She talks up a blue streak and has achieved so much in her life. She is still a work in progress, but she is really trying to do so much independently.

The younger me, crunching those leaves, sure would have liked the chance to peek into the future to see that Elizabeth would talk well and those sensory issues would/could be kept in check. and her days are filled with life not therapies.

The younger me, would like to know that I would have the energy and drive to get Elizabeth to this point.

The younger me, would have liked to know that her siblings would still always have her back, help her when needed but love her always.

I think that is something we, as parents and caregivers, would love the chance to do every so often…just take that little peek into the future. Just a little one to help us know that what we are doing now are the right things.

I know that we can’t do that but the one thing you can do is to sometimes is to take a few moments to look back to see how far you have really come.

Maybe allow yourself the gift of this to let yourself know that you are making that difference for your child. That all the things you do help.

I know that I don’t do that backwards glance often but the crunchy leaves were my prompt this time.

So maybe you can have yours too!

I wish everyone a peaceful week.

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes in Herself