Maybe it was the masks last year or the fact that Elizabeth sanitized so much that she turned into part alcohol. But whatever the case was, She did not get so much as a wave a nausea or a slight sniffle the entire year.

Well actually since, May 2020.

Then it started last week.

A slight tired look in her eyes.

A bit of irritation.

A slight change to some words like Mom became BOMB.

Yep.

A cold.

It was something apparently going around her one workplace and I know this because her friend from the same workplace had called to beg of a walk with Elizabeth due to her cold.

So, several checks of her temperature, a few runs at the pulse oximeter ( measures oxygen levels) and practically making her take an oath that she had no other symptoms. We agreed it was a cold, and she stayed in her room to rest and enjoy some room service from me.

This was on last Wednesday night.

3 days later she is still resting and watching TV and happily so.

She had the tail end remnants of the cold meaning a slight and I mean SLIGHT nasal sound when she talked but that was it.

So flash to Monday morning and the greeting I got when I said “Up and at ’em Elizabeth” and it was not good…..

And it was at that moment when it hit me…the memory of colds and illnesses of bygone times….and the impact they have on her wanting to do ANYTHING. It is like she adapted so well to nothing that she wants to do nothing.

I have learned with her special needs of SPD ( Sensory Processing Disorder) and global dyspraxia that the easy way to do things is the preferred method and if given a choice between easy and some work, she will pick easy 100% of the time. We don’t let this happen, but she would pick it if possible. I know we may all like the easy road every now and then, but for her it is because life is really such hard work each and everyday that this is the preferred path.

Having said that, and as I remembered it all I kind of chastised myself for not remembering this outcome sooner and doing something to offset it like talking to her to explain that Monday is the day to be in general population again and do some things.

Or talk to her about why she may find that prospect unappealing.

Or explaining why we needed to deal with her desire to continue room service and TV.

Alas, I did none of those things and so was faced with quite the irritated, slightly nasal sounding Elizabeth who said NO to everything asked of her or to her.

After a bit of a bumpy start to Monday, we regrouped and made the day pretty good. But it was pretty tough work at first.

I guess my funny story is to offer that sometimes it is the littlest things that can have our kids take two steps back and how if we know this we can be proactive and communicate with our kids. Or like me, not remember until you are looking directly into the eyes of a post cold, irritated 24 year old.

Just a reminder that the journey we are on with our special needs children includes those steps backwards and we, as always, work to right the path and continue going forward with and for our kids.

I wish everyone a peaceful week and please wear a mask and if you haven’t gotten one….get vaccinated!

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes in Herself.

I think we are all conditioned to respond to certain things in certain ways. Such as when I smell the air in mid August and, even though it is still summer here in Ohio, I can smell Fall coming. I am not alone in this as others here say things like ” You can just FEEL fall is coming.”

Or when the calendar gets to October and I feel two automatic feelings,

The first is that it is officially time to but my first bag of Halloween candy and the second is that it is time to look at the IEP ( Individualized Educational Plan) goals and see how they are holding up with what is being worked on in school.

In other words the IEP goals that your child had when the school years may need changed, updated or removed from the IEP. The work they are doing can make some goals obsolete or can make some goals not quite attainable in the current form or some are ones that maybe looked good prior but now others can be put into the IEP instead.

The IEP is a working document which means that it can be changed/adjusted at any point or time. I wish I had known this at the beginning of Elizabeth’s journey in school. I mean I guess I was told that but I think I didn’t want to create an issue by asking for something big or asking for too many changes, so I didn’t.

As time passed and I grew stronger in my ability to advocate for Elizabeth, I learned that asking for time to talk about IEP changes was OK and that if I told the teachers I would be doing it in late fall, they were prepared for the preliminary conversations.

And after all, what we all want for our children is for them to work for and achieve the goals we have set for them.

My daughter Elizabeth, has global dyspraxia and sensory processing disorder (SPD) both disorders affect her days…all day. So each day really is work for her. Her goals that once seemed good may have been too much for her if her anxiety was creating issues or perhaps they were ones she mastered faster than we thought.

Each child has is unique in their needs and they way they work, process and master skills. So it is really important that the goals that guide their education be ones that are as current as possible. And with everything that is going on with the schools this year, the stress or changes can make learning just that much more difficult for our children who already have to work harder than most.

It may take some time to read and reread the IEP and judge how you think things are going for your child but it really is a good time. Because there is still time to work on these new goals before the end of the calendar year before the holidays take hold of the schedules at school.

Just so everyone knows, those conditioned habits do not go away even as Elizabeth is 24 years old. I still just told her that we needed to go to the store and buy some Halloween candy and she and I sat down to talk about what she thinks of her work on her goals so far.

It was like a little IEP meeting, just her and I. I asked her if what we were doing toward her goals seemed like good things or did she want to change anything.

So these habits do stick around.

I wish everyone a peaceful week and please wear a mask and get a vaccine!

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes in Herself