Archives for category: Uncategorized
« Older Entries
Newer Entries »

Special Needs Siblings: An Interview

By nfabian1
March 6, 2017 //
2

I hear Elizabeth ask Michael a question about something,

I hear Michael answer,“I don’t know Elizabeth, I think that it was the other day.”

I hear Elizabeth say something else, then I hear both of them laugh.

This got me thinking about the close relationship that Michael has with Elizabeth.

I started thinking about this wonderful little man and I wanted to get his opinion on some key issues about life with Elizabeth.

So I asked Michael if I could interview him for this blog, to which her responded  “Mom?!!?  YES!”

So here he is, fresh from his latest win on the basketball court.

Me:  “So Michael, how old are you now?”

MG:  “ Mooooommm…really?”

For the record he is 11 years old.

Me:  “Michael is was fun to hear you and Elizabeth laughing tonight, It made me want to ask you, what does it feel like to have a sister with special needs?”

MG:  “Mom, I feel honored to experience this unique person.  Elizabeth is a fun person and I want everyone to know that.”

I told him that he talks as if he was much older than his actual years, to which he smiled.

Me: “Speaking of which, what do you wish everyone could know about Elizabeth, other than that she is fun?

MG:  “I want everyone to know that she is not different, she is exactly the same as everyone else.  I mean, I know she has special needs, but she is just like other people.  I think there should not be any stereotypes.  She should not be grouped away because of her special needs.

I told him how much I loved him and how proud I am of him.

Me;  “I know that at times Elizabeth’s special needs are challenging to me and Dad. How do you feel when she is upset or anxious?”

MG: “I can handle her moods, because I know she is struggling hard but it does make me feel frustrated to watch her work so hard.  And it does make me anxious or makes my anxiety get high.”

I told him how much he means to his sister, that their friendship helps her so much.

Me:  “Speaking of friendships, Michael, is there anything you want our readers to know about your relationship with your sister?

MG:  “That sometimes I get sad because it is hard for Elizabeth to tell me everything she wants to or to tell me exactly how she is feeling about things, like I can.”

I went on to tell him he is quite a sensitive and insightful 11 year old.

Me:  “You know Michael, that there are many children your age who have sisters or brothers like Elizabeth.  As well as many who have sibling with other disorders…So with that thought in mind, tell me the advice you might have for others who have a sibling with special needs.”

MG:  “I want to tell them to show affection to them because they need it.  Even is they many not show it to you or cannot show it to you.  It matters because they will feel loved.”  “Mom, I love her.”

I hugged my little man so tight at this point.

I was quite moved by his words, I mean, I know he is such a tender hearted little man, but to hear his answers while looking into his big brown eyes, makes it hit my heart just that much more.

Siblings, like Michael, are affected by the “Elizabeth’s” in their lives. This is my opinion.

It simply cannot be helped.  Again, my opinion.

But how they react and feel and is something that can be. Again,  opinion here.

I feel so strongly that how we talk to the Michaels of the world, how we offer them explanations or offer them hope for their sibling can help them so much as they are on their own unique sibling journey.

Sometimes it is even as simple as giving them a voice, the chance to tell you how they really feel is sometimes all they need.

I love that Michael is the boy who befriends those in his class who need a friend, or the boy who says the kind word to the boy in his class who just had a meltdown.  I am proud beyond words that this is Michael.

But it is also because of the gift that Elizabeth is.  Having a sister like Elizabeth has helped Michael to be the young man he is.

I thanked Michael for his time, he smiled at me and at that moment I simply gave thanks.

I wish you all a peaceful week.

-Michele

Categories Uncategorized

5 Steps To Help Keep Organized For Your Special Ones

By Katie@specialneedsessentials.com
February 20, 2017 //
3

Just last week I was scheduled to head to a meeting for my special needs daughter Elizabeth.  You see we are planning the next step in Elizabeth’s journey as she is graduating from high school this year.  So as I prepare to head off the meeting, I get together the necessary paperwork: the IEP (Individualized Education Plan), the latest ETR (Evaluation Team Report) , various reports, anecdotal notes, report cards and probably a few other things.  But you get the idea.

After I get it all together,  I put them into a new accordion file that I purchased for the start of her life after high school.  I thought it would be great to separate the before from the after.

And this got me thinking about the amount of paperwork, notes, and records that become part of your life when your child has special needs.  I happen to be a pretty organized person due in part to my love of office supplies.  I used to be the happy “back to school” child.  You know the one, the one who happily picks out their folder colors and binders. Pretty much the one my young son would love to yell at in the aisle at Target.

Whatever got me to this level of organization, I know I would be lost without it. I may not be able to find a paper this second but I can tell you where it is and I will find it….just give me a few minutes.

I thought maybe I would share how I keep track of the always growing amount of papers for Elizabeth.  Please know, I am sharing what works for me.

1. ONE YEAR AT A TIME

It is very important to keep all information from each school year together.  Such as daily reports, report cards, communication notes that you have exchanged with anyone at the school.  Also, any therapy reports from the school or private therapy.  I keep everything in one folder for one school year.  This way anything that happened in second grade is right there…together.  I tried separating things out based on school related items versus private therapy but that just got too confusing and made two folders for each year.

2. PUT THE YEARS TOGETHER

After the school year is done, I take the folder and put it into a big, waterproof bin with a secure lid.  Two floods in the basement have taught me the value of waterproof!  Once they are labeled, then finding anything the school may need at a later time is really easy and if you forget to put something away, it is easy to locate where it goes as it is all based on the school year.

3. KEEP IEP SEPARATE

I know I said all things in the school folder, but the IEP is such a fluid and working document that I find myself flipping through old ones to read and see how much the goals have been changed or asking myself why then haven’t been.  

I have every IEP in one VERY big folder.  Along with any ETR reports.  

How nice to know all that information is in one place.  Simply bring the folder to any IEP meetings.  Besides its weight, it is pretty nice to have it all right there.

4. USE A TICKLE FILE APPROACH

Some people use their schedules and calendars on their phones to organize their lives. I do a little of that but because  I am a visual person,  I go old school and use a calendar,  the kind with 12 months of pictures, flowers or cats.

I put it on my desk so that the pictures are tucked under and I see only the months.  Then I write down reminders for myself of things for Elizabeth.  Such as “call for volunteering in May” I will slide that in the calendar in the month of April and when I flip to April, I will see it.  

I do this a lot for all my children but especially for Elizabeth because by using it like this she can help me to write the cards, file them and we can talk about the schedule before it really starts.

5. DO NOT BE OVERWHELMED

Even as I read this, I can see how it may seem like a lot of work, but it really is not.  What I mean is think of how many things you have done and worked on for your child that have simply become part of your life.  I think so much of it just becomes habit.  

The same as a sensory diet can become simply part of your day to life so will keeping all the records in order.

As you know, you never thought you would face the challenges of a child with special needs but you did.  You never thought you would rejoice over the little successes but you do.  So figuring out how to keep track of life and still enjoy the good things is just one more thing you can do.

I wish you all a blessed week.

Michele

Tags , , , , , ,
Categories Daily Living, Education, Parenting, Therapy, Uncategorized
« Older Entries
Newer Entries »