T minus 10 days and counting.

I know that as the time counts down to the holiday, I can start to feel the pressure of what is expected and what is planned for the next 10 days.

There is food shopping and preparations, the shopping, the planning….

The get togethers that will always have a modicum of stress to them.

And then there is the feeling that you just hope, hope, hope your child with special needs will be able to enjoy the holidays and all that you might have in store!

I know!

That is how I feel.

I will say that one thing that has helped me the most and something that I did not do early enough is to talk to the family that you will be spending time with about your child, their needs, and what they are like this year.

I know, I know, most times, our families know about our children. They have an idea of what they have as a special need. They have an idea of what they will need or what they will not want to do.

Usually this is from memory of the previous year or get together.

But as we all know, our children grow and achieve and change.

So telling them how things are with your child NOW will help so much.

From the idea for gifts that they will use and have fun with- which means sharing their current interest

To the food that they will eat– which means telling them the new things they have tried and what food they can help by having some of them.

To the way their day will probably go– which means telling them how your child will show signs of needing a break and how you will help them understand what that break looks like for them.

To how you feel– which means sharing how you are actually doing with the holidays and trying to manage it all. This will probably help you to share. I know it helps me to have others really understand.

And above all, it gives you the chance to tell about your child and their growth, their successes and just what the year brought to them.

I hope this is maybe something someone needed to hear and maybe will help someone as they head into the official 10 day countdown.

And I wish everyone a peaceful week.

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes in Herself.

Dear Santa,

As a young girl I wrote to you with requests for toys, games and of course, surprises! I also want you to know I NEVER forgot to leave cookies for you and carrots for Rudolph. Those times, even though they had their struggles (I did have brothers after all), were full of the hope and joy for the future. Time has passed, hasn’t it Santa?

I write now as an adult, and a mom. My joy and hope for the future, once felt as a young girl, came true in my children and husband. I am blessed Santa. So much more than I even thought possible. I have three amazing children, who are loved more than words can say.

 I say this all because, as we all look back over our shoulders to see where we were last Christmas, we can all see the many changes our lives have taken. We can see how our world has changed, the positives and the negatives. Santa, life does not stay the same and we all change and grow.

I can say our year had many wonderful memories of time spent together, laughter, tears, hugs and love as well as some tough situations, decisions and many emotions. But through it all, Santa, we grew and learned more about ourselves.

Our beautiful Elizabeth is now 26 and she is working so hard at independence and why not?  Young adults her age are independent!  But it is hard work for her but she grew this year, she did new things this yearSome of them she loved and some not quite so much. But the thing is, she tried them! And for her and us, that is a really big thing. Elizabeth is constantly growing and learning and loving life.

She has this gift, Santa, of being able to enjoy wherever she is, to have fun and to see the good in all people. It would sure be wonderful if we all could have this perspective in our days. Just think of how much calmer our hearts would be if this were true

 Santa, when you have a child with special needs,  you pray the hearts of others will be kind.   So that their actions or words that follow will be kind as well. I would love to ask that if in some way this could be the case, I know that myself and the other moms and dads of these special children could feel so much more at ease if this were true. It is hard sometimes, Santa, to go into the world with this beautiful child and hope that others will see past their disorders, their stumbling speech or their unique ways to see and enjoy the beautiful child that is right there.So many things go on in my mind about Elizabeth, Santa, sometimes the thoughts keep me awake, sometimes they make me cry but I pray a lot, everyday in fact, and I know that God is with us all. In the good times, the tough times and the times when we simply need to hold onto the fact that he works all things for our good. But sometimes, Santa, I just would love to peek into the future, if I was allowed, to just know that she will be okay. I know this is quite the request and probably the same request that all moms of special needs children feel…actually probably all moms regardless. But it would be my special request anyway. To know that she will be happy, safe and still be loving life at any age.

Santa, know that my special child has taught us and continues to teach us, each and everyday so very much

about life and love and joy and appreciation of all the little things in life. She is a gift, Santa. One I never anticipated having and one I would not exchange. She is simply love.

 Well, I guess I better go now Santa. You have so much to do and I thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts.   There is joy Santa, in the midst of everything.

 Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you…see you next year.

 Your old friend,

Michele