I think that being on this special-needs journey with Elizabeth for over 24 years I have learned a lot

And I mean ALOT.

When I think back to the beginning of our journey, when our sweet little Elizabeth was born and how on the first day of her life, she was the LOUDEST newborn in the nursery as I was told by a veteran nurse who was taking care of her.

I then think about her crying all day every day from what we later would learn was SPD or Sensory Processing Disorder.

I think about how eye opening of a revelation it was to learn that it was dyspraxia that made putting a simple piece of a puzzle into its place, and it was an oversized puzzle, so very hard.

I think about her first sounds, so hard to make because of dyspraxia but made only by the enticement of an M&M reward.

I have to say that all these early memories make me remember those early times when the fact was I had no real idea what was going on. We had no one guiding us, no one to tell us to try this therapy or that.

It was like we were in the jungle with a sickle and were slicing our way through to find a path. But then after time passed, we did find a person to help us, then another and we listened.

And we did what they told us to do.

And the gains came.

So we listened more and did more.

And more gains came.

Listening is the one skill that I think is not spoken of enough. Because it differs from hearing which is one of our senses. You cannot help but hear someone as they talk. But it is listening that takes active work.

To process what is said, make sense of it, decide what to do with the words spoken.

It is an active choice.

One I am glad I was able to do.

I think though that we NEEDED so much help, it would have been silly of us to say “Nope, thanks anyway, we don’t need your list of things to do, we like struggling so much”

But what about when you are long into your journey, kind of strong is your beliefs that what you are doing is pretty good stuff? What happens to your listening skills then?

I have to say that I offer to everyone to keep them dusted off and honed in because the learning and growing knows no boundaries of age.

I will share:

I have heard one of my friends suggest to me about a new way she has been phrasing something to her young adult. This was to help the young adult feel differently about a situation. I nodded my head and thought something like I am glad that is working for you but I didn’t really listen to what she shared.

I guess I thought maybe we didn’t need the suggestion or maybe I didn’t think I could put it into our world.

But the fact is I should have listened then because it proved to be something that I COULD do for Elizabeth.

And in fact WAS something we just did this past week for her and it worked just the way my friend told me it would.

I think that no matter how strong we might be in our own certainty of how we can care for our special needs children, I know that listening is not one of the things we can afford to let go of. We need to keep the sharing, learning and listening going.

I speak from experience.

Just some thoughts for someone who might need to hear them.

I wish everyone a peaceful week.

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes in Herself.

I know that in many of my blogs I talk about the interesting things that Elizabeth has as part of her personality.

Things that are so unique.

I am sure I have mentioned somewhere along the lines, how she sees other peoples’ emotions, she calls it “their hearts” in colors. Such as if you are feeling sad, she would call your heart green. If you are happy, it is blue and the best mood is pink.

I love and am so in awe of these things that make Elizabeth, well, Elizabeth! For those who don’t know my daughter Elizabeth has special needs. She has global dyspraxia and sensory processing disorder (SPD) Both disorders affect her life each day and can make life hard work.

Especially when events in her life create stress and emotions, as it is then that signs of these disorders flair up.

With that being said, Elizabeth has shown some serious struggles when she has to say good bye to her sister when she leaves after being home for a visit.

Elizabeth loves Emily, her older sister, so much and since Emily moved out, these visits home are events are such happily anticipated and enjoyed events but then comes the goodbye…then the emotions after hit her hard.

And she shows it.

In her short tempered voice or attitude.

or her disorganization which comes out more when her mind is drawn elsewhere.

So we have been working with Elizabeth on these emotions and how to talk about them better, feel them better and talk to her friends more about things like this….all of this is hard work for her and let’s be quite honest, takes a village.

Which is why I have shared notes from our beloved, forever with Elizabeth, therapist named Mary. Mary has been working with Elizabeth on just these things, so her notes are amazing and so helpful.

So, I have shared them, with permission from Elizabeth, with all those who are part of her life. I wanted everyone to know how to help her best, how to use the tips Mary gave to guide her and more importantly, to understand her current needs better.

Something I learned so early on in this journey with Elizabeth is that bringing in everyone who works with your child to be on the same page is the BEST thing (my opinion) that you can do!

Even if your child is quite young, sharing information about their disorders/diagnosis/current needs is the easiest and best way to make sure that everyone understands your child. They will get how they work, they will be able to know the verbiage to use as they reinforce a concept or direct them.

They will pretty much “Get them”

And once this all happens, everyone can work with your child better and only good can come of this.

I know that this sharing takes extra time.

I know it can be hard to remember to do.

But I also know it is so worth it!

I wish everyone a peaceful week.

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes in Herself