My husband was rooting around in the silverware drawer as he was searching for a fork.

The reason he was rooting around is that the forks were not in their typical spot in the silverware holder. Meaning the small forks were mixed in with the big ones and so, hence the rooting.

John: Why are all the forks mixed up?

Me: Elizabeth emptied the silverware from the dishwasher today.

John: Smiling…so how are we expected to live like this?!

We both laughed a bit.

We all know that due to her Global Dyspraxia she has to learn every new skill and process them correctly. And that many things can affect her ability to perform a task, even if it is one she already knows, such as anxiety about something else in her life or being too tired or even being upset she is asked to do this job in the first place.

So we get the why of it all.

And after all, most of the time she puts things away, they are in their correct place. Maybe not placed correctly in their right place but they are in their right place none the less.

Example: The clean towels are on the shelf in the bathroom.

Are they folded in any recognizable form sometimes? NO! but they ARE in their right place.

We see other little things that tell us Elizabeth was there.

Such as when the toothpaste tube is completely obliterated in the middle but there is plenty of toothpaste left in the tube below the squeezed middle. Think of a toothpaste tube made to look like the number 8.

Or when the dishes are left out on the counter because she couldn’t fit them into their spots on the shelves…

Or when the remote controls to the television are meticulously placed in the exact same spot by the television, which would seem like a good thing except we are sometimes still wanting to use them and sometimes think we misplaced them only to find them in their original spots.

I think sometimes I use these moments to teach or talk about them with her. Such as how it is important to take your time when you do a job and put things away well.

Or how it is important to ask if we are done with the remotes BEFORE you put them by the television.

We also work on her folding the towels the correct way, which she knows how to do but like all of us, she cuts corners.

With her disorders, it is important to make sure that the information on how to do a skill or task gets inputted ( is that a word?) or processed the correct way the FIRST time. Habits are formed quickly and are so hard to break.

Some of the things she does makes us smile and others makes us root around for the correct fork.

But since we understand the why of it we are able to help and guide her. I think so many many times in these blogs I stress the importance of knowing WHO your child is and HOW they work.

Because knowing this and starting there allows for you, me…US to help our children succeed and help us teach others how they work.

Dyspraxia will not quit so for us, we can’t either. We will teach and support, smile and laugh but be there for her as best we can always.

I wish everyone a peaceful week. Please wear a mask and get a vaccine!

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes In Herself.

Last year everyone saw their holidays changed by the pandemic.

Maybe yours was a quiet one, like ours or maybe it was more of they typical one of pre pandemic years.

Whatever the case, it was probably more different than typical. Now enter into this holiday season. Holiday season number 2 in a pandemic.

What does that mean to you and your special needs child? By that I mean how have you been going about explaining it to your child with special needs? I ask this because I just had this conversation with Elizabeth. It all began because after many phone calls to our various family members, many with serious health issues, who said they would all love to be together but feel just a bit not quite ready.

So our Thanksgiving will be a quiet one. Not the one with 21 people.

So Elizabeth wanted to know what we were doing.

E: So are we having a big party for Thanksgiving?

M: No, not this year because of the…

E: (interrupted me) virus…right?

M: Yes, I mean we could have had a party, but it is just better for everyone if we keep it quiet and just us. And we will make is really wonderful, like we did last year.

E: So there won’t be alot of people?

M: No, just us but Easter will be the party, I hope

E: So I don’t have to worry about it being loud or crowded?

M: No, it will be quiet.

E: That sounds good, just us.

And there it is, the relief Elizabeth feels when she won’t maybe have to work hard to be okay in situations that she finds challenging. I am happy my kids are good with everything being just us, so grateful actually but like anything else with Elizabeth unless she does it often or at least frequently, things can be rusty or challenging for her. And I am afraid, this holds true to how she will react/feel/cope with a large gathering.

I think judging from her words above that it will be challenging and something we will have to talk through a few ( think, many) times before we get to the date of the aforementioned get together.

This brings me to another point and that is how best to help our children understand the changes this holiday season may bring. If you are having family over, what do you want your child to know will happen. how can you help them cope with the sensory input they will have during that time?

If you are headed somewhere else have you communicated with your child in the way they best understand, what they can expect? What things to bring to help them cope? What food to bring in case green bean casserole makes your child cry (actually had it happen to someone in our family) Maybe they will have to wear a mask a bit with certain family?

Anyway, the whole take away of this is that last year was a bit more cut and dry and this year not so much. So as much as we are figuring it out our special needs children are as well and like most things in their lives, it can be harder for them.

Just some thoughts as there is still time to handle the communication with your child to make the Thanksgiving 2021 as calm, enjoyable and memory making as possible.

I wish everyone a peaceful week. Please wear a mask and if you haven’t, get vaccinated.

Michele Gianetti author of Elizabeth Believes in Herself.