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As I write this blog today, it is our typical Friday afternoon.  The great feeling that the weekend is upon us, the traditional pizza dinner (eaten in the den) and the chance to unwind from what was a busy school week for us all.  

Relaxation takes on many different forms depending on the person who is doing it.

Michael relaxes by bouncing a basketball and chatting away, about his day, Elizabeth on the other hand, relaxes by watching some television.  By herself.  Laying on the floor. Never on a chair, never on the couch.  It is what feels right to her.

We all have our own like and dislikes when it comes to listening to what our bodies and minds need through the course of each day.  And most of the time we can adjust from what we want to do to what we have to do, pretty much without missing a beat.

Example:  We may want to remove ourselves from a long, tedious lecture, but what we do is move to a new position to get comfortable, tell ourselves “only 15 more minutes”  and watch the clock.   (We may complain in our head about things or mumble a bit) but for the most part, we can manage to get through the lecture and our day.

But for those whose neurological system has trouble regulating itself…those times when we can manage by doing things like I mentioned, are the very times they cannot do it alone.  They need help to get their system to cope with and adjust to the environment around them.

Those on the Autism spectrum have sensory needs.  Those who have Sensory Processing Disorder have sensory needs.  Truth be told, we all have some sensory issues (I throw out the topic of itchy tags…anyone else guilty of ripping them out themselves?) but it is the degree to which they affect one’s day and life that makes the difference.  

There is something called a Sensory Diet, a phrase coined by OT Patricia Wilbarger.  It is a carefully designed, personalized activity plan that provides the sensory input a person needs to stay focused and organized throughout the day.

What this means is that certain sensory inputs are offered to the person in need throughout their day to help them.  Be it sounds, lights, texture and more.

Our brain receives sensory input from our five senses:  Seeing, Hearing, Smelling, Tasting, Tactile or Touch. These very senses, whose input can overwhelm a certain person’s system when they are too much,  can actually be used to calm another person who has different sensory needs.

And this is where the wonderful, unique and so amazing thing called a Sensory Diet comes into play.

Some people need less noise,  others need  to hear music or calming sounds, or even to block out sounds with something like earBanz to stay organized.

Some people need lighting that is calm, like when teachers use Fluorescent Light Filters to take away lighting that is too bright.

Some people shy away from being touched and others crave touch and pressure so weighted blankets can provide the input they are looking for.  As can weighted lap pads.

Fidget toys, such as chewy necklaces, chewelry or chewy tubes, can offer sensory input to those who need to move or fidget and even for those who have a sensory need to chew. 

So many things can be used to help a person who has sensory needs, it is all about finding the right item, in the right amount at the right time.  And this is where the OT or occupational therapist comes in.   

To get a sensory diet tailor made for your child will help beyond measure.  In my opinion, it is one of the most important things.  

The OT can help make this diet. And they can decide if your child needs brushing  which is officially called the Wilbarger method.  Please read about this wonderful protocol when you can.  But those brushes called Wilbarger brushes are the things that I feel helped Elizabeth the most in her earliest years.

A sensory diet is unlike any diet that one hears about on an infomercial.  It is not one that will trim a waistline or help with cholesterol.  For those who have sensory needs, it is downright life changing.    Please search our  website to see the amazing selection of sensory items, read how they are used and please ask questions to those who work with your child or please ask questions here on this blog site.  

I can share what we did, you can share your experiences and we can help those who just started learning about their child’s needs.

I wish you a peaceful week.

“So what do you want to do over Christmas break Elizabeth?”  Such an innocent question.  One that if asked to any number of typically developing children would elicit  answers that range from asking for unlimited television watching, to some serious time to sleep in and lastly a  mind numbing amounts of video games…mostly Xbox one.  I did the leg work here and asked my 10 year old son.

The answer I got from Elizabeth was quite different.

“ I need a schedule”

Yes, that was literally the first thing that she asked for.

It wasn’t that she did not ask for time with her family or to go out to eat.  Those came next on her wish list. It was just the first thing she knew she needed was a schedule

And this got me thinking about how much different our special needs children view the holiday break than their typical peers.

From all my experience with Elizabeth and her special needs, I have come to realize many things about time off from school.  And I will share the following, from my perspective…

THEY NEED A SCHEDULE-  bet you did not see this one coming as number one!!??   (a bit of humor here), but in all seriousness the lack of a schedule, the complete openness of time and a challenge of Elizabeth needing to fill it herself, is overwhelming to her.

When we take a break from our schedules and sigh that we have “nothing to do today”  For Elizabeth that same statement can elicit quite a lot of anxiety.

So to combat this, I make her a schedule for each day.  Not a rigid, to the minute, schedule.  Just a gentle schedule to show her what we are planning for the day as well as the things she is going to do herself.  Such as exercise, bake, listen to music.

For her having the day take some shape is extremely comforting.

As an added bonus, for us, having a flexible schedule helps to teach Elizabeth that life is a fluid thing. That no matter how much you plan, you need to be flexible and accept changes in your day.  Just like all of us.

THEY NEED A SCHEDULE PART 2-  sure it does read like the first one, but in this case I am talking about a visual calendar for the week they are off.

I use a wipe off white board calendar that has the whole month on it.

I talk to Elizabeth about the things we are going to do that will require further talking.

Like, going sled riding.

I will put it on the schedule for the day we are planning it and it allows her to see it, to know it is coming and to allow for her and us to tell her about it.

It allows her to get ready ahead of time.  And that helps her plan what to expect

All this allows her to better enjoy events that may come around only this time of year.

MORE IS NOT ALWAYS BETTER- please please trust me on this one.  The very vivid memories of a certain Christmas break many years ago, still haunt me.  

We went here, we went there, we ate out, we went to a Christmas village, we ate out again, and we watched a meltdown.  Mostly Elizabeth’s, partly mine.

All that was in one day.

All that was too much.

I have learned that some is better than all.  And that it is okay to be okay with it.

Just today, I had to tell my older brother that we could not go to Disney on Ice next week because our week was so full already.  Sure there was little part of me that said.  “ YES! Let’s make it work”  But the truth is, I know it would be too much.

So we are making plans for a quick dinner together instead.

Knowing the limits of your child and being okay with them is a good thing.  I was a bit of a stubborn learner.  So I offer this to help others.

RELAX AND REGROUP-

When you make your schedule, please put these on the schedule each day.

Whatever shape it takes for your child, make the time for it.

A bit of down time is an amazing thing.  Again, trust me on this one.

MAKE THOSE MEMORIES

Our holiday schedule may pale as compared to other families, but it works for us.

We treasure the time we have together and the successes of our Elizabeth.

So make the memories your way.

I wish everyone a good week.