Archives for category: Parenting

5 Steps for Finding a Therapist for Your Special Needs ChildiStock_000013308707_Large.jpg


“I love Miss Liz.”

Elizabeth made that statement just earlier this week.  It was about her adaptive Physical Education teacher, turned dear friend.

Miss Liz is one of the many people who make up the current group of wonderful therapist/friends in our lives currently who we call “Team Elizabeth.”

We are so blessed to have them and all their varied expertise, personalities and gifts in our world.  But, finding them is not always an easy thing.

And this got me thinking just how hard and involved it is to find the right therapist for your child and their needs.  And trust me, our journey has had its fair share of twist and turns, ups and downs and successes and failures.

Finding a therapist is actually an easy thing.  I mean you can look therapy places in any phone book (a little shout out to those who remember using a phone book) or you can google the term and I guarantee you many, many options will show up.  But what to do next?

ASK QUESTIONS

In my opinion, before you do anything with that list. You should make sure that the facility you are calling has therapist who  will be able to treat the disorder that your child has.  Meaning, for us, many people said they understood and could treat  Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) but when we got there I could tell that they were not really equipped to do that.  

I think calling the facility first and asking your questions is a great start. Tell them about your child and their needs. Does your child need gross motor skill help? Or fine motor?  Does your child need help with all sensory skills or input?   See how you feel after having this conversation.  If you feel encouraged then…

PLAN A VISIT

I did not do this step often, and it is one of the things I regret.  I think I wasted many a day trying to get things to work when a simple visit prior to bringing Elizabeth would have been so much of a better idea.

When you get there you can see how the place is laid out. You can see if it looks like a fun place with therapeutic and special needs toys or, if it is a touch on the institutional side. You can also see how the staff handles situations with the children.  Because, after all, you are trusting them to work one-on-one with your child.

And lastly, do they allow parents to observe the initial therapies?  Some places have two way mirrors to allow this and other simply put a chair near the corner for the parent.  I have experienced both vantage points on this journey and can tell you, in my opinion, Elizabeth has always enjoyed the therapy more and done so much better when I was not physically in the room.  So you will need to see what works best for your child and knowing your options will help things be more successful.

MEET THE THERAPIST

This one is not always a fan favorite for the facility as it requires some time and planning but I think this piece of the puzzle is crucial.  Getting the chance to talk to them and explain how your child works will get everyone on the same page right away.

Bring information about your child and their diagnosis, please do not take it for granted that they will know everything about any one disorder.  

All of our children have differences even if their diagnosis are the same.  So talk and share and after this time- ask yourself how does your heart feel about this person?  I have learned to listen, and listen well to my heart.  If you feel pleased or calm.  Then you know you can start your journey with them.  But if you feel any reservations, take the time to think about them.  It is better to wait and find the good fit than to start a therapy, see problems, stop the therapy and then look again.

REMEMBER THERAPY CAN TAKE MANY FORMS

Until Elizabeth, I never knew there were many kinds of speech therapy.

Until Elizabeth, I never knew there was school Occupational therapy and then traditional Occupational therapy.

Until Elizabeth I never knew about play therapy, music therapy, adapted physical education, therapy music….And on and on.

My point in all that is to say, that doing research and reading as much about different therapies is so important because your child’s needs will change and with every success, their needs change just a little bit.  So to know about other options and to know they are there will help you when your current “Team” needs an addition or change.

COMMUNICATE

Talk to them before about the work you did with your child between therapies

Talk to them after to learn what they did in therapy and what you can do at home.

Talk to them when you have a concern.

Pretty much talk to them.

As I write this, I am listening to Elizabeth sing “Uptown Funk” with her new Music Therapy teacher.  We just started Music Therapy.  I did all the above steps and it is going really well.  But I know that therapy like life is a journey and right now our path is smooth. 

I hope the same for you.

Michele Gianetti

 

 

Fantastic Traits of a Strong Special Needs Dad

“I will take her for a walk, Mich.”   

Those are the words John said during an especially tough Thanksgiving dinner about 9 years ago.  Michael was still a baby, it was his first Thanksgiving actually.  He was NEVER a fussy little guy, but on that day he was.  I think due in part to a change in his schedule, but whatever the cause, he was not a happy little man.  Elizabeth was struggling to sit and eat at the table.  She did not like the food, and what I brought for her did not work either.  She was not talking very clearly that day or using more that a couple of words per sentence, so it was hard to figure out exactly what was wrong.  So between the usually happy baby who was not, and our beautiful Elizabeth in the throes of some serious sensory issues, I was about a minute away from joining Michael in crying….then came John’s words.

And he did, on a brisk November day (Ohio weather), he did.

While he was gone, we were able to get Michael to stop crying.

When they returned, calm had returned

To the house.

To the table.

To me.

My Support and My love had helped me so very much that day.

The day kind of sticks out in my memory as a big one. We all know holiday gatherings can be stressful for the best of us, let alone what it can do to the normal rhythms and routines of those with special needs.

That day was an example, but there have been  an infinite amount of other times, when John read the situation and knew how to help support me, as we helped Elizabeth.
Our teamwork was pretty clear from the start.

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John loved being a Dad from the start. I was happier than anything to be home with our children.  I loved every minute but was so happy when John came home.  He would be tired from work, but fresh for the kids.  He immediately lit up to see us, and he started playing.  Chasing, hugging, laughing, loving and “being there” That was and still is how he works.

Being the Dad of a child with special needs is not easy, at least from my point of view. There is a huge learning curve, in my opinion. Learning how to have that certain spark of life – a connection, with those with special needs.

I think it was really hard on John.  He would come home, reach out to hug Emily and Elizabeth, and only Emily could hug him. Or he would home on the weekend and he wanted to play with “his girls” and Elizabeth would hide behind a chair because it was too much for her.  

In the early years with Elizabeth, there was not a guarantee as to what John would be walking into at the end of the day.  There was no guarantee that I would not be beside myself by the time John came home, or that Elizabeth would not be in the middle of a meltdown.   

Then there were  all the hours we spent talking about Elizabeth and her days, her therapies, her successes.

And all the hours he talked to me about me.  About how I was handling things.  

And the hours we had talked when our opinions differed greatly about the next step for Elizabeth.  Like  why I was sure that this therapy would be a good one, or why I just knew she needed to go to this camp.  

And all the hours of hugs and support he gave as I would cry because this was the time I was sure she would talk and she didn’t.   

John was and is all those things to this day.

But for Elizabeth

-He was the one to offer her calm.  I pushed her each day, John allowed her to be.

-He offered her a quiet space.  I took her to busy therapies and schools, John took her to the swings.

-John made her laugh.  I loved he made her forget her tears that day.’

– He saw the fun child and enjoyed her.

-And he loved her, each and everyday. Elizabeth knew it then and she knows it now.

If anybody were to ask me what I felt was the biggest gift from a special needs Dad, I would have to say the last one.  

We all need to feel love and acceptance.  It is just human nature.  But to give that gift to a child who is working so hard for the simplest things is precious and priceless.

So to those Dads who get up and hug their children, know the gift you are giving              

And for those who hug their child, who cannot hug them back, know the gift you are giving is received and treasured even more.