Daily Living | Special Needs Essentials Blog

I have written a great number of blogs during this pandemic. I have talked about how things were for us and how Elizabeth handled things both emotionally and the actual activities of the day.

I wrote about the fear we had, the happy time together and much more

In the Spring, I wrote about the feelings about reopening and all those emotions and how we taught Elizabeth how to “re-enter” the world. Such as how to maintain social distance, why she needs to sanitize her hands and put on and take off her mask.

I am sure there were many more areas covered but that is an overview.One of the biggest things we had to do was to teach Elizabeth how to put on and take off her mask properly. With her issues of global dyspraxia and sensory processing disorder (SPD) this was a the first thing on the To-Do list. So the dyspraxia makes it hard for her to do the motor planning needed to get the mask on her face while the SPD makes it hard work for her to be okay with the sensation of a mask on her face.

It is a lot of work for her and for all the others with special needs.

So now when we go places she knows to take her purse and in it she puts a mask, a small sanitizer and we review the rules of social distancing. So all will be well right?

Well…..here is how it really goes….. at least for us.

Elizabeth puts her mask on in the parking lot of the grocery store but due to her dyspraxia and the hard work it is to judge pressure from say the difference between a gentle touch and one with more oomph.

So as I watch she puts the one ear loop on and the PULLLLLLLLLS the other ear loop so strongly across her face and head that she has now no real hope of it hooking on the second ear as it could now hook on her ear if we moved her ear to the back of her head.

So down goes mask 1. I pull our a spare one ( from my stash in the car)

We try again and I am doing a hand over hand to help her gauge the amount of pressure needed to pull it over her ear. We accomplish this well.

Yeah! We get out of the car to head into the grocery store and start shopping. A few aisle in I see…

The ear loop drops off her second ear….kid you not.

So before I could sanitize my hands to help her with her mask as I had already touched a number of store items. She reaches up and again PUULLLLLLSSSSSS the earloop and we now have the same thing happening that took down mask 1. (GULP, she didn’t sanitize her hands…mental note to self-ADDRESS THIS LATER)

But we are in a store.

With a cart full of food.

With contaminated hands.

So now I sanitize again, fix her mask again.

Which now requires her looking almost upward to keep it in place. ‘I suggested that we hurry to get the last few items and head home and get her out of this horrible mask issue-thing we have got going on.

As we are hurrying, I notice Elizabeth reaches in front of a few people to get the item she needs. GULP! I NEED TO TAK TO HER ABOUT THIS AGAIN.

We are in check out and she goes to help me unload the cart and I look at her and her mask is now down around her upper lip. And because I was hurrying it probably was like that for the last few aisles. GULP- ANOTHER THING TO ADDRESS!

I didn’t want her to touch it because her hands are worthy of a good scrub at this point. We are in line, with people behind us, in front of us and the overall feeling was ..WE NEED TO GO.

A good 10 minutes later we are headed into the car…and FINALLY we get in. she puts her hands out to sanitize them, proceeds to rip off her mask and stuff it in her purse “For later”

That last one needs a “GULP” as well.

That trip was a bit of reality wasn’t it, the overall picture was good right? Mask, sanitize, social distancing…..all of which were talked about and she did know them and put a mask on without it causing anxiety. Good for us!

But the reality is REALLY telling…these things she did showed to me that the explanations of what we need to do, really need to go deeper into the why of it. I need to go back and REALLY tell her why you don’t touch your mask, why you wait instead of cutting in front of someone. Why you wash the mask instead of putting it in your purse.

I think each child may require a bit more teaching to cope with real life situations than say, just the often heard “social distancing” It almost has to be broken down to different scenarios to make the teaching of these really important things to our special needs child successful.

And let me honest, it is critical we are successful

Mask 1 and mask 2 are no longer with us after this store trip …it is okay to smile at this.

I wish everyone a peaceful week.

Please wear a mask! I do for my mom and others who could get REALLY ill

Michele Gianetti

Michael was talking to me yesterday and said something that I think really sums up his time off. We were driving to take him to an appointment and I mentioned that his school is now starting in September instead of mid August. Due to, of course, the Coronavirus.

I just finished telling him about it and he said, ” I have another month off but it’s weird Mom, the summer went so fast but so slow at the same time.”

And that my friends is really the truth of this whole thing isn’t it. As much as it seems like a long time we have been at this, sometimes it feels so much shorter.

We have all worked out way through many emotions since late February from panic and anxiety to current day disbelief that many STILL do not follow safety protocols simply because they do not want to. And somewhere in all that we ended a school year with our children facing the computer and interacting with their teacher and friends instead of in person.

Now, we are all facing the start of a new school year that has almost as many uncertainties than last year if not more.

There is one common thing, at least in my opinion, and it is the need to help your child with special needs (and typical children) start the year off as organized and calm as is possible amidst this pandemic.

Here are 4 easy tips to use during this school year:

COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CHILD ABOUT GOALS FOR THE YEAR

I say this one because I know what MY goals and hopes are for Elizabeth, but I shared in a blog prior, that they were NOT her goals now. Truly, at the age she is she SHOULD have a say in her goals, but in truth, all typical children have a say in their plans or choices ( some have bigger says than others). From the sport they like, to the after school activities ( pre- COVID) so if neurotypical children can have this say, then it serves to logic that our special needs children should get to have the same…to their best ability. It was truly eye opening to hear Elizabeth’s goals and I was grateful to know them and try to help her meet them.

2. HELP THEM PLAN A WORK SPACE

Face it, trying to learn with the blender going, a sibling talking and the T.V. on can be super challenging for some and for other silence is the enemy. It really is all about the child and their needs and ways of learning. So plan out a place that fits their needs best and designate it as their schoolwork spot. Now in COVID, what was a great space may be commandeered by a sibling etc. So maybe take a peek at available spaces that may work and go from there. I know Elizabeth wants to be alone and in a quiet room with me when we work but changes the room depending on her mood.

3. HELP THEM PLAN THEIR SCHOOL DAY

My beautiful typical developing son, Michael showed me just how well a greatly motivated middle schooler could polish off a weeks worth of work to get to freedom early during the quarantine So there’s that option but that one leads to a crammed in day, hurried work and less processing of information. So a few, nice conversations later, Michael was part of planning a schedule for work that did not include the finish line by Monday night.

It helps our children to have a schedule of their days and work to help them prioritize, plan and process their work. And for those with special needs, it helps them plan for the work and transition between challenges.. I know Elizabeth WANTS to know what work she will be doing each day. Even if your child is home with you, a plan helps everyone stay organized and shows where there is time to put in a walk, some fun thing or simple downtime

4.PLAN A TIME TO CHECK IN WITH THEM

Sure they could literally be at your kitchen table all day. Or home from school for hours. But checking in with them means checking in on emotions, how they are coping, their anxiety or concerns. Just because your child, special needs or typical “look” ok doesn’t mean they don’t have something to share or talk about. This is especially so during COVID.

Making time to check in is, in my opinion, critical. Michael and I call it “hanging out for a while” and Elizabeth calls it “chat time” Whatever its term, it is really important.

Time for school is upon us in some form…so a bit of planning can help instill a bit of peace.

I hope everyone has a safe, peaceful week.

Please wear a mask. I do for my mom and others who could get really ill.

Michele Gianetti

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