Archives for posts with tag: Parenting

I was having a discussion with a new friend the other day.  It was about the topic of friends, the need for good ones and the ever growing number of social media “friends”.  In the conversation, I told him about my three very close friends.

You know the ones you can call and not even say hi before you launch into the reason you  are calling.

The ones who know your life and world so well that you don’t have to give any back round information before telling them a new thing.

Yes! those friends.

And I am grateful for them.

Having a child with special needs can be so very isolating. While others are at the park with their children, you are in a therapy session. Or a birthday party is NOT fun for you because you are on pins and needles just waiting for your child to meltdown from the noise or activity.  My daughter Elizabeth has special needs, for those who do not know, she has global dyspraxia and sensory processing disorder (SPD).

So we did feel isolated.

And sometimes I guarded myself against a new friend for fear they would not or could not really understand.  In the early years, maybe I did not truly give those people a fair chance but it was probably because of my need to protect Elizabeth and if I am being truthful, myself too!

I did not want to see the sad looks or hear the pity in their voices when they talked.  Was it my issue? Maybe but it was where I was at the time.

But it was later on the journey that I

I learned to trust a bit.

Reach out a bit.

And let a new person in.

Because the feeling of isolation is real and having a trusted friend or two can make all the difference in the world.  I am grateful that I trusted these friends and I am grateful to have them in my world. I know how hard it is to trust, I have been hurt too, but I equally know how hard it is to feel alone.

I wrote this because I wish someone would have told me to do this early in our journey.  To let someone in a bit, then a bit more.  Maybe these are words that someone could use today, I hope so.

I don’t need to see that I have 1,000,000 friends on a social media site, because I do know I have my wonderful few!  And for them, I am grateful.

My wish for you is to find yours few as well.

I wish everyone a peaceful week.

Michele Gianetti author of “I Believe In You: A Mother and Daughter’s Special Journey” and “Emily’s Sister”

 

 

 

 

 

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So I know Elizabeth is 21 years old.

I know that she is in a college program and doing well.

I also know that we communicated all the information about her disorders of Dyspraxia and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) to those working with her.

But what I also know is that due to her special needs, the work done at the beginning of the year, is just that….a beginning.

She came home from her first day at college telling me that things were a bit “crazy” that day, but she had a good day.

We talked about the things that made it crazy. All of these crazy things she said were in line with a typical first day of really anything new.

But it’s just this kind of evaluation that I know will be part of each day and all events of the year.

I have learned early on in this journey with Elizabeth, that no matter how much you communicate, no matter how much you advocate for your child and pretty much no matter how much you feel like you did everything you can for them to succeed for the new year, you will still need to evaluate and analyze.

Quite often.

The communication- Are the daily sheets coming home? Are they filled out well.

The activities- Is your child in the resource room too much? Are they following the things you agreed on?

The school work- Are the accommodations in place? Are they being followed?

And more…

But something else that I realized early on in our journey is that these things we evaluate and analyze are simply going to be part of our life and journey and to see them not as things I HAVE to do, but to see them as things that I NEED to do to help my daughter succeed.

So I look at her daily sheets and we talk.

I look at her work and we talk.

I text and email those who work with her and we talk.

I know that what I do for her matters and makes the journey so much smoother.

Seeing what you need to do in the right light is what I learned early on and what I just wanted to share today.

I had someone say to me, just the other day ” I don’t know how you do it, Michele”  and truthfully, those words were ones that  hurt  years ago.  But now when I hear them, I think….

I know how I do it.

I do it because it is our journey.

It is her life.

And I know about all of us who love a special needs child, we would do ANYTHING, EVERYDAY, because we know it matters.

I hope someone could use these thoughts today.

I wish everyone a peaceful week.

Michele Gianetti author of “I Believe In You: A Mother and Daughter’s Special Journey” and “Emily’s Sister”

 

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