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Good afternoon! Today we wanted to share a poem by Erma Bombeck, posted by Diane on her blog 5 Little Monkeys. To all the special mothers out there, you have all our support!!!

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The Special Mother 

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice,

a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.

Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth

Selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.

As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.

“Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.”

“Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.”

“Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint…give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.”

Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles. “Give her a handicapped child.”

The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”

“Exactly,” smiles God. “Could I give a handicapped child a mother who knows no laughter?

That would be cruel.”

“But does she have the patience?” asks the angel.

“I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she’ll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.

Once the shock and resentment wear off she’ll handle it.”

“I watched her today.

She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother.

You see, the child I’m going to give her has a world of it’s own.

She has to make it live in her world, and that’s not going to be easy.”

“But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.”

God smiles. “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.”

The angel gasps, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?”

God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive.

Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.

She doesn’t know it yet, but she is to be envied.

She will never take for granted a spoken word.

She will never consider a step ordinary.

When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.

I will permit her to see clearly the things I see–ignorance, cruelty,

prejudice–and allow her to rise above them.

She will never be alone.

I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life

Because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.”

“And what about her Patron Saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles.

“A mirror will suffice.”

1. Express your feelings

It is not so easy to express our feelings in this modern society where communication is digital and everything is thought to maximize efficiency. However, most children with special needs keep expressing their feelings with no reservation, and sometimes even without words. And that’s one of the many reasons they are so loveable. There is no shame in saying your fears, your frustrations, your gratitude, your love or all other feelings out loud. Just try to find the right words and follow their example!

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2. Let it go

Caring for a person with special needs can be challenging. Sometimes they want to go out dressed up like superheroes, other times they want to eat breakfast for dinner, and you want to say it’s not appropriate but your only objective is to take good care of them. After all, why not? It’s their way to teach you that you cannot control everything. So when taking care of yourself as well, ask the question: “if it makes me happy, why not?”

3. Stay positive

Kids with special needs can have a hard time at school, at medical appointments and in so many aspects of life. But they are not always self-conscious and they manage somehow to keep their head up. When they smile at us, they are so inspiring. So if they can do it, how can we even think negatively? Be grateful for what you have and try to view all matters with your positive eyes. That is what they teach us.

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Do you find these lessons to be true with your kids? Are you ready to learn from them? Leave a comment if you wish.

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